Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
