it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
