please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
