I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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