Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, beer. Big fan.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
