No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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