its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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