I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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