i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
