In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Two words: blizzard sex
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
