I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
