I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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