nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
