her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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