Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
