Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
