Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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