they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
