I need help removing her.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
