My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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