Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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