I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early