grandma shit on top of the toilet
I love having hate sex.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is my gift to your gina
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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