I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
