some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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