Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
