..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have demons in me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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