YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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