dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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