Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
