You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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