I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
