You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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