New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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