You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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