Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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