I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
