What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
