Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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