I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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