The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
