scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is my gift to your gina
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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