I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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