just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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