so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
