Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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