Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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