She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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