he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
