Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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