I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize