He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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