I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize