$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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