I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
