Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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