gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
