I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
