i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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