Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
