Don't you send me to vm
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
