shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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