omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
