It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
