You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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