Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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