i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
