we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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