booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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