Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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