ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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