I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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