I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
