I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
