We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.