Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
two words: eviction party
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?