Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho