Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom